I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
