i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
