Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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