I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize