bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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