why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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