i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
