How'd it feel making her break her religion?
only you would photoshop your dick
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
