i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
