Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
