You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
