Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
