Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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