He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
