Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize