Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
