His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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