at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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