did you get engaged???
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
