Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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