I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
