Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
