I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize