no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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