U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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