Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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