Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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