I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
