Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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