I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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