We named our party play list daddy issues
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
