Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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