carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
