Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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