she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
