I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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