I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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