I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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