Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
