So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
