Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
