Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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