At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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