I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
