the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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