8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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