Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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