i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize