i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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