Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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