i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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