Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize