Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize