Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have demons in me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize