gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Randomize
