Can Purell be used as lube?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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