my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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