In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Vodka?
Forever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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