I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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