Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
