i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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