Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
