I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
